My ten year high school reunion was last night.
That's right... ten.
I remember a year ago, dreading my upcoming reunion.
- I'm not married yet
- I'm overweight
- I'm not "successful"
...ticking off that checklist of what I'm "not"... and all the ways in which I'm not where I thought I would be by now.
But that was a year ago... even six months ago... maybe four.
What's so funny to me now, though, is how ignorant all of that is - no one is where they thought they'd be ten years ago... and if they are, they're either dissatisfied or reaching for something entirely new.
We're all on this utterly complex and interesting journey - of course I'm not where I thought I would be; I'm not the same person I was ten years ago.
And I am so thankful.
I went down the list of men I would have happily married; I thought about the careers I'd have liked to have had... I thought about all the different ways in which I would have happily...settled. Had I gotten all the things I wanted ten years ago.
I've messed up royally so many times, found myself in places I didn't want to be, hurt people I wish I hadn't hurt - but in all of it, I've discovered pieces of myself that were buried a decade past. Pieces that are absolutely necessary for me to know if I am to be who I AM.
You may be so far from where you want to be... or from where you thought you'd like to be once upon a time - but what no one ever tells you is that you have to fail to achieve those things in order to get what you want even more...the full embodiment of yourself.